Well before I get back to cleaning. I just want to try to express my feelings today. I just can't. I don't have the words for it. So I am going to try to do the best I can.
Today is just gross out makes you want to be lazy all day. But I can't be lazy I get too sad. Plus I really need to get this house back together. Its one hott mess!
Today I feel alone, I feel lost, I feel empty inside, and I feel like something is missing in my heart. I know that's because there is something missing. The other half of my heart is missing. And its sad. I am just sad today. I know I'll be ok. I mean hello I have done this before this time has already been easier than last time. This time I have done things so different than I did last time.
Last time I cried everyday for the first couple of weeks. I slept with my computer on next to me and with my phone by my side no matter what. I never wanted to leave because I didn't want to miss him. I wore his clothes. Not going to lie though if there is anything from last time I want to do its to wear one of his sweatshirts but because I have gained soooo much weight that doesn't workout for me this round. No worries I start my workout plan on Monday! That's another post.
Anyways this time I have kept busy everyday expect for yesterday and today. But today I'll be cleaning the day away and that will help clear my mind and push the sadness out of the way!
So I am going to end this for now and get back to cleaning. I miss him so much and I can't wait for this year to fly by!
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