No title!

I know its been awhile. But I just feel like I never have much to say. So here we are now..

I made the 14 hour drive to my home town for thanksgiving. Along the way I realize how much gas stations stink and how much my mom has to pee lol ;) (she will love me for this) Anyways has I have been home for 5 days now I have also realized things that break my heart.

My sister got engaged on her birthday, Nov 18th. She asked me to be her maid of honor well for me matron of honor. I said yes of course. However, it hit me that I will not be here to do everything with her. I had some good cries over that. I want to be apart of it all. I want to go with her everywhere she wants me to go and do things she wants me to. Yes, I will still be able to help her from afar but its just not the same. I even told her she could ask her good friend to be maid of honor since she will be the one here helping her. My sister of course said no way! (gosh I love her).
I kind of had her jump the gun and asked her if she would mind trying on wedding dresses while I was here so I could experience her doing that. She agreed and found one she loves! I was so happy that she agreed to do this. It meant more to me than she will ever know. I know that she will still look around to make sure that first one is the one she wants but that expected. I am just so happy I got to experience something with her =)

The other thing that I have realized since being home is that I miss out alot on things going on.
My grandpa had a stroke a few weeks back. I got the call and felt the need to come home early, but my parents kept saying no that he is fine and will be ok. So when I did get home one of the first stops was the hospital to see my grandpa. Everyone said he looked great and was doing amazing. However, to me I never saw him in his worse state. To me he looked just like grandpa just a skinnier. I am thankful that I didn't have to see him in his worse state but at the same time I wish I could of been here for all of it.

I know this is part of my lifestyle, always being away from blood related family. But coming home this time, I have found myself not wanting to go back. I am thankful for the family that I will be returning to when I do go back to my "home" Without them there I might of just stayed here in Iowa!

So this is where I am Loving being home with my family but missing my family from where my home is.  It's never a win-win! So  I will cherish the time I have here and continue to enjoy it as I will miss them the very second I walk out the door!